Dialogue with Judith Simmer-Brown and Pema Khandro

“In this conversation with Judith Simmer Brown we ended up talking about child abuse and the Shambhala scandal. It was very sensitive material and I wanted to respond in a way that respected our guest and the context but I feel that it is always difficult to respond to stories about child abuse and child marriage in a way that does the situation justice – especially in the cross cultural context. I believe that marriage to a child is wrong and harmful and the reality is that in many countries in Asia that 13 and 16 are considered marriageable ages. In our country we recognize this as child sexual abuse. I see it as horrible and harmful. And the fascinating and difficult reality is that our guest had a profound relationship with a teacher who also married children. I know that this is a story not that unfamiliar to many of us in our sangha, since I have heard your stories about abusive family members or teachers – where there is love but also horror – all at the same time. I hope it was helpful to hear Simmer-Brown’s own position on these issues and open the space to think through the diverse Buddhist responses to abuse revelations. I believe there is no one right response to trauma and abuse. Even if we think of someone having a “wrong” response, that may be the only response that they are capable of at the time. I come to these conversations with curiosity, because I see Buddhists making sense of things in so many different ways and I hope exposure to a variety of approaches will be a resource for you. Simmer-Brown talked about choosing the “messy middle” which was an interesting perspective.I aspire to create a safer space for dharma study through our beautiful school, one where we can digest all the suffering of our lives, of the world, to heal and rest. Thank you for making this effort possible, I pray that we will live up to this aspiration to greater and greater degrees.”
– Pema Khandro